That l could love someone 🥰

That l could love someone and not be with them seemed bonkers but today I understand that in this world, love is enough. It is the beginning or end of a relationship.

I love you enough to let you go and be with other people.

I love you enough to respect that our values are different.

I love you enough to let me hold the pain of ending our journey.

I love you enough to pray that you find happiness without me.

I love you enough to see that this is what you need.

I love you enough to push you to another person's arms.

I love you enough to love you forever.

2022 has been a fantastic year that brought on my maturity in relationships. Not to be confused with the idea of revisiting past relationships now that l am mature but rather... to be happy that l have past relationships and they should and will remain past never to be revisited.

Love maturity as l call it is love unbound, non judgemental and free. It's when l finally understood that just because l love you doesn't mean we are meant to be together. Infact my love means l respect you and your love for me. This is what l mean;

If l love you and you don't love me, l will not stop loving you but continue loving you and respect that you don't love me back.

If l love you and you are unsure on whether you love me, l will not stop loving you but continue loving you and respect that you are unsure on whether or not you love me.

If l love you and you love me back, l will not stop loving you but continue loving you and respect that you love me back.

What!?

Yes.

My love for you is not reciprocated because of how you feel about me. My love is reciprocated according to how l feel about our relationship be it friendship, family and or romantic. Granted feeling do change over time, so as such my feelings will change over time. This change will be determined by how you will treat me.

If l love you and you disrespect me, l will still love you but from a distance.

If l love you and you are respectful to me, l will love you and reciprocate your respect.

Love is the constant in my life. Just because l insult you doesn't mean l don't love you, no. It means l am reciprocating the insult. I love you so much that l will give you back the insult. If you can see the hurt then you will stop the hurt. How can l stand for you to insult me over and over again and just because l love you l cannot 1. Defend myself 2. Express my hurt 3. Hurt you back. That is not love. That is fear.

Fear behaves like love. The only difference is fear let's people walk all over me. If l fear expressing myself then people will assume that l like the same things as them or am a pushover or l am dumb or l am too intelligent. Whichever it is just know the answer is also different based on each person's perspective and depending on the relationship you hold with them.

I will love fearlessly not fear love.

Recently, l encountered people who l love. Some are silent and distance. The others are talkative and close. Can l love many people at the same time? Yes. Can many people love me at the same time? Yes. Very different people but one commonality. They are religious, am not. I knew leaving the church would slash my dating scene by 100% but l still did leave and hold no regrets. I love that l can love these people and bless their union with church going people because that's what they need. And this brings me back to the title. That l could love someone and they love me and not be with them. Why?

Because l know how important it is for me to be a free spirit. Looming the spiritual world without any denomination affiliation. I am not Christian, l am not a Buddah, l am not a Muslim, l am not a pagan, l am not a devil worshipper, l am not a saint either. I am me.

A spirit in search of her maker.

A spirit free to be.

A spirit of love.

A spirit that is curious.

A spirit that has found peace.

I believe l am a spirit having a human experience because l will die. My body shall lot as my spirit moves on. On to another body. On to another time. On to another adventure.

This is my spirit and all it wants is to love and be loved.